I’m going to Jerusalem on July 1st through July 18th. I’m going to study at the Hartman institute along with 200 other rabbis from around the world. I received a scholarship (one of only two awarded) to be able to attend, for which I am thrilled and humbled.
It’s always incredible to spend time in Israel and this is especially so…for at least two reasons. First of all I will have the opportunity to study and learn from some of the great teachers of our time. Secondly, it will he helpful in dealing with the shocking anti-Semitism I have recently experienced at the prison in which I work two days each week.
For the many people who wonder how I could be so comfortable amongst the very difficult inmate populations I so regularly spend time with: it wasn’t one of them. In eight years of working with every level of incarcerated men, I have not been afraid nor have I really ever felt as if I were in any danger. No, it was a sergeant, an officer of the California correction system, who called me a ‘dirty Jew.’
Now, obviously, I am not a child nor am I naïve. I know there is anti-Semitism in this world. I just have never heard it directed towards me and with my own ears. I always thought I could deal with just about anything. This really shook me up much more than I can even explain.
To consolidate this story to it’s very essence: I asked an inmate clerk who works in the ‘program office’ next door to the chapel (that’s where the officers- sergeants., lieutenants, captain on this particular yard work) to make copies of paperwork that is necessary to need to be passed out and signed so that the programming I have for the following week can be approved by the time I get up there again. A sergeant I don’t remember ever meeting before was not happy about that. He ‘assumed’ I was up to something apparently off the charts. I asked an inmate/clerk to come and pick up things for copying, just as I do every week. But this sergeant came marching into my office. Remember, to the best of my knowledge I had never met him before. He was not one of the regular office/yard staff on the yard. He was nasty and accusatory. I ignored him as well as I was able and just said I wanted to get the copies done so I could pack up and drive 3 hours home after a very long two days. All I needed was the paperwork so I could sponsor (as I do every week) the Jewish, Protestant, Catholic,, Spanish Protestant services I try to provide each week. There are no Catholic, Protestant or Muslim chaplains up there right now. Two transferred and one is on leave. These men couldn’t get services at all if I can’t sponsor them. The sergeant took the papers to the clerk who brought the copies back. The sergeant followed him back very closely with an attitude you couldn’t mistake. But I am used to attitude from some officers, so I continued to ignore it.
As I was taking my cart out of the chapel and locking up, I heard the sergeant tell the inmate/clerk , “Listen. You work for the program office. NOT the chaplains. Especially a dirty Jew.”
Needless to say, I was shocked and appalled. I also realized that it would not be advisable for me to react at that moment. I knew I needed to leave and think this through. I did not realize how very badly it was going to affect me.
I reported it to my supervisor the following week and sent a letter about it to my supervisor and to Internal Affairs. I also saw my Dr. due to what I was told were physical reactions to this episode. He proceeded to tell me I needed to take three weeks off and sent a letter to that effect to the prison.
I have had to use all of my own learning and teaching to get myself back on track. Even as I type this, it’s hard for me to admit that I got so affected. But indeed I did.
I’m going to Israel at just the right time. I will not only be learning more each day but I will be able , I hope, to find more within my own spiritual self to recognize that what I try to teach in my rabbinate, that there is good in everything and that everything that happens, happens for the good.
Yes, it would be easy to just chalk this off to a general malaise of hatred in the world. But I know that exists and I resist giving into it everyday. That is why and how I am able to work with such difficult populations (in the jails and prisons). I try, and generally succeed, in treating all of the men with dignity as long as they are doing the same to me. More often than most people can fathom, they do. This will not deter me from continuing my work,
I think it is unforgiveable for this behavior to come from anyone, but especially unforgiveable from an officer of the State Prison system.
I am following through closely on this with the institution. I may not be able to change the world but I am hopefully going to show that no one can talk this way to anyone in my presence, let alone to or about me.
I also realize that this is where my own faith and beliefs come into play.
It is so easy to talk and teach and preach about things to people from the pulpit or just from my position as a rabbi. It is quite another to make sure I believe what I teach and use it when things are not quite as I would like them to be.
I do believe I am fortunate in being given this scholarship to study in Israel. And I think the timing couldn’t be better. I also believe that the hundreds of men …Jewish and not…need a place to let down their own tightly constructed guards and let whatever is underneath it, show.
Some may be helped, saved if you will, some may not. My only mission is to give them all a chance. I’m very unhappy that I had to walk through this horrendous (and illegal) behavior. I’m sorry that an inmate had to hear it, as well. We work together and I know he is as devastated as I (even though my admitting any human concern for an inmate can be construed as ‘inappropriate’ and ‘too personal’ behavior by the staff rules. I hope those rules (most others of which I totally adhere to) never interfere in my ability to have concern for an inmate.
I’m going to Israel. I’m going to study and learn in a country surrounded by anti-Semitism. Hopefully I will come back wiser and with new tools of my own to use in situations like this one.
As it is taught: “Everything that happens, happens for the good.”
That's horrible. There is plenty of undercover anti-semitism and racism all around. I used to believe that we, as a society, have mostly outgrown this affliction. But at times I reminded that prejudice is still alive. Just the other day at work, we found out that our supervisor is moving to another position and that our old supervisor will be reassigned to our team. Several girls on my team were really upset about it, much to my surprise. The ones that were most upset were the black girls, who all later told me this supervisor had put them all down in one way or another. I haven't been a victim of blatant prejudice before, so I can't completely relate. My point is that I am reminded that everyone holds some sort of prejudice and that we must be mindful of it in order to see the truth.
ReplyDeleteI had heard about this and I'm sorry it happened. What a vile thing to say.
ReplyDeleteI'm going through it the second time in my office with a second supervisor. The first time, after I asked (and was granted) a day and a half off for the High Holidays I received an email from my supervisor who stated I was "taking too much time off" and "needed to save my leave" even though I had the leave time. When I responded politely (by email) that I expected to be able to take a little time off for my religious holidays like the other Christian employees do, I was called into her office. She shut the door and stated that she "didn't expect me to play the Jewish card." She then berated me for communicating by email. I told her I responded in kind.
I finally spoke up again last week on a different supervisor I have had for almost a year. She keeps referring to Jewish stereotypes. Before my son's Bar Mitzvah, this supervisor asked me if I was sending him to "Jewish camp" this year. I told her that we were "focusing on his Bar Mitzvah." She responded that she though we were "flush with cash." A week or so ago, I asked her when our travel reimbursement forms were due. The supervisor responded "I think yesterday was the last day to turn them in. It's ok, you're rich."
What's really scary is that these are social workers.
Rabbi Carron, you sound like the chaplain that every inmate wishes to find when he sends a kite to the chaplains office. Your inmates are lucky. I can tell you from personal experience not all prison chaplains are that way. During my long travels I have met many a chaplain. Some are great men strong in faith in God, others want to use their time to convert you. I remember when I was at YTS, part of CYA, I sent a request to see a rabbi, there was no rabbi chaplain at my facility. The chaplain at my facility brought a Messianic Minister who called himself a rabbi. Finally I was able to get a message to the rabbi at Chino (CDC) to come and visit.
ReplyDeleteYou do a great thing Rabbi Carron. As a Jewish person who had a wild past and spent years in both the California Youth Authority and in the California Department of Correction.. you are a mensch.. Thank You, although I never met you.. it is people like who care and can separate the person from the crime who gives us ex-con and felons a reason to change our lives and become productive members of society.